Building A Routine to Deal with Grief

I was really excited about the schedule and the routine that I had established before this COVID-19 hit. I was attending hot yoga classes on Tuesday, Thursday, and Sunday mornings. I was also throwing in another occasional class on Saturday afternoons. I found a yoga studio that was about 7 minutes drive from my home and I was going at 6:00 am to fit it into my busy day.

I had also signed up for a 200-hour Yoga Instructor Training Course that would be offered one weekend a month finishing in August 2020.

Finally to round off my goals for 2020, I also signed up for a Functional Medicine Coaching Certification Course that is being held Wednesday mornings from 7:00- 8:30 am. This course has had zero interruptions with the exception of the Earthquake that hit smack dab in the middle of my class on March 18, 2020.

If you can’t tell, I am on this mission to up-level my certifications and the value that I can provide to myself and others in my circle.

My point being; I learned early on that a routine was vital to me for my personal growth. Establishing a routine is an outline to achieve my goals in life. It has proven to work for me since I started reading 2 books a month starting in January of 2018. I also set a block of time for my fitness and workout routine in the early stages of my addiction recovery. The morning hours between 6:00 am to 7:00 am I needed to exercise my body at least 4-5 times a week. Only after setting, establishing and following a routine did I begin to understand the benefits. Sure life happens and you miss a workout here and there, but you always have a model to go back to.

I have the type of personality that I hate being told what to do, and especially when it includes when to do it. I despised it when people tried to dictate my schedule and my workouts. So, I created my own outline of things I wanted to accomplish and I fit those things into my own schedule when I knew I could accomplish it.

Well after a few weeks into our #socialdistancing and isolation, I was feeling really down and discouraged. That is when I listened to this podcast from Brené Brown and David Kessler.

https://brenebrown.com/podcast/david-kessler-and-brene-on-grief-and-finding-meaning/

In this podcast they outlined that the feelings that I was feeling was grief and loss. This #COVID19 pandemic took away my routine. My life was completely put on hold and I have to recognize those emotions. For my Yoga Instructor Course we met through a #Zoom conference call and we all started talking about our feelings and our emotions during this difficult time. I broke down and I didn’t realize that I was coming on to 4 years of sobriety date and I was feeling out of balance. I needed to find balance again, ASAP. I don’t want to go back into the darkness of addiction and mindlessly acting. I want to be conscious of all of the decisions that I make.

Dr. David Kessler highlighted 4 stages of grief.

  1. Survival Mode- (Where you can be highly distracted and this could be a sure sign to take more time to process your emotions.)
  2. Comfort Stage – Do you have enough water, shelter and food and basic needs.
  3. Balance and Equilibrium- Your life starts to return to Normalcy.
  4. Productivity and Creativity

Here is what I learned. I need to first of all recognize this time for what it is, a unique time in human history and allow myself to feel the emotions heavily and deeply. Only then, could I move through the stages to advance to the comfort stages and work on providing my basic needs.

That is where I created a new routine and I feel like I am thriving. I now practice Yoga from 6:00 am to 7:00 am from the comfort of my own home through the mobile application called #DownDog about 4-5 times a week. I also get outside for a lunch break at least 3 times a week, where I take my son on a 30-minute jog around our neighborhood. This gives me very important time with my son, where we are both earthing and grounding and getting in touch with Earth’s electrons. Also, I am starting my day with a micro-greens tea, and I only eat lunch and dinner to cut down on calories.

Now let’s see if my routine gets thrown off again when our #stayathome orders go away. Then I will go through the same cycle again. Yipee!

Here are a couple of other articles from The Harvard Business Review that speak about routines and grief.

https://hbr.org/2020/04/the-restorative-power-of-ritual?ab=hero-main-text

https://hbr.org/2020/03/that-discomfort-youre-feeling-is-grief

#addiction #sexaddiction #pornaddiction #recovery #health #life #love #addictionrecovery #somaticexperience #hope #fightthenewdrug #nofap

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