“You either walk inside your story and own it or you stand outside your story and hustle for your worthiness.” …
I think the scariest thing for me is revealing my truest self to others because that is how I would sustain the greatest hurt. However, I have also learned that that is how you create the deepest connections.
Bravery is not the absence of fear, it is the complete knowledge of all the risk involved and still exposing yourself to reach the highest reward.
“If you were going to die tomorrow, would you still do what you are doing today?” – Steve Jobs
Because I have suffered trauma through my addiction and because I have found healthy ways of living, I want to help others to recover.
I have read over 50 books in the last 2 years and I have listened to countless podcasts with every intention to heal, grow and learn.
Why do this?
Because not enough men share their stories.
Because I need to commit to being a better person publicly.
Because my wife deserves a better husband.
Because my kids deserve a better father.
Because I can be a better person for my future self.
Because men like Martin Luther King Jr. showed us all what it means to stand up and lead social change.
2020 is going to be a new milestone for me. I have spent the last 3 years in recovery, working on myself, so I can better serve the people around me. I will continue on my self-healing path, but it is time to take on a new adventure and a new task. I will start forging ways to help heal the infected mind.
I have been terrified to post any of my story publicly because it is raw and deep. It does also include mature material. So please, handle this blog with care. I will be writing about pornography and sexual addiction recovery.
I hope to help to create a community. A community of open mature discussion about healthy sexuality. Sex is not easy to talk about. However, it is easy to find sexual content. Modern day media has made it quick, simple and easy to find sexual mature material in a matter of seconds. If kids want to learn about different sexual acts, or different parts of the human sexual anatomy, they can find it and they can learn about it. We need to make sure to curate the material being consumed by the masses. Healthy relationships are required and essential to our human experience. Healthy relationships only happen when we step out of ourselves and care for the other. We can’t step out of ourselves until we understand ourselves.
In a sermon by Martin Luther King Jr. in Selma, Alabama, on 8 March 1965, the day after “Bloody Sunday,” on which civil rights protesters were attacked and beaten by police on the Edmund Pettus Bridge:
“Deep down in our non-violent creed is the conviction there are some things so dear, some things so precious, some things so eternally true, that they’re worth dying for. And if a man happens to be 36 years old, as I happen to be, some great truth stands before the door of his life — some great opportunity to stand up for that which is right. A man might be afraid his home will get bombed, or he’s afraid that he will lose his job, or he’s afraid that he will get shot, or beat down by state troopers, and he may go on and live until he’s 80. He’s just as dead at 36 as he would be at 80. The cessation of breathing in his life is merely the belated announcement of an earlier death of the spirit. He died …
…A man dies when he refuses to stand up for that which is right. A man dies when he refuses to stand up for justice. A man dies when he refuses to take a stand for that which is true...
…So we’re going to stand up amid horses. We’re going to stand up right here in Alabama, amid the billy-clubs. We’re going to stand up right here in Alabama amid police dogs, if they have them. We’re going to stand up amid tear gas! We’re going to stand up amid anything they can muster up, letting the world know that we are determined to be free!”
I am also 36 years old. I refuse to stay silent any more about things that matter. Just because something is difficult to talk about, doesn’t mean that we should ignore it or hope that it goes away. Difficult conversations must happen, and they must continue to happen. Our evolvement as a human race must continue to push forward. I will not allow pornography to be the education vehicle for sexual relationships. I am sex positive. I will not package these discussions with religion. I will find language to communicate effectively.
Hello my old and new friends. Thank you for joining us. My name is Shawn Blymiller and I am Theo’s Father. I know that Theo is the star of the show, but I thought that I would share some of my own thoughts here on our website and this blog.
A few years ago, I had this burning desire to change things in my life. I knew that I hadn’t fully actualized and reached my full potential, and I was tired of the excuses that I was telling myself. I had this burning desire to really achieve something meaningful and impactful in my life and in the life of those around me.
Let’s just say that I had reached a point in my life where my soul was being reflected back to me, and I didn’t like what I was seeing. So I made a simple goal to expand my knowledge and experience. That goal was to read 2 books a month. That was the beginning of 2018, and I have read a pile of really good books since.
Why did I make this a goal? Well, I had heard over and over again that the average CEO reads 60 books a year. That is 5 books a month. I knew that I couldn’t keep up with that pace to start, so I edited the goal to an achievable measure for myself.
About this same time, Theo had been diagnosed with Autism. Angela was learning a ton and I was trying to keep my head above water, from all of the material and content that she dumped on me. Angela is the greatest advocate and blessing in Theo’s life, without a doubt. Theo’s doctor calls Angela “A Tiger Mom”.
Angela kept finding groups and conversations to participate in, and different supplements and protocols to follow. I was having a hard time keeping up with all of the information that she was consuming and summarizing for me. I also am not very good at following orders from others. I have to know the “why” for myself.
So I figured there really was no other choice, other than to jump into the study with Angela. For a while, I was in denial. I thought my son was going to grow out of the stage and behaviors that he had been displaying. I am a hopeful person by nature. I can’t be bogged down with negativity or I can’t function.
However, there came a point that there was no denying that my son was different. Soon after we had received the diagnosis from a specialist at the University of Utah, Angela had researched a new diet that she wanted to try with Theo. She wanted to go Dairy free, and Gluten Free to see if it helped our little man. At the time, Theo wasn’t making eye contact, and wasn’t responding to his name. I remember very vividly, Eva coming into our room one night crying, asking us: “Why doesn’t my brother love me?”. Our response was what do you mean, of course he loves you. She said: “He never wants to play with me.”
At that point, I knew, I had to be in to see if we could impact anything for Theo. You see, he was developing normally until about 20 months. He was talking, saying about 10-15 words. He was even using 3 signs in sign language. We have videos of this. At about that 20 month mark, he regressed.
As soon as we went Dairy-Free and Gluten-Free, we saw a difference. It was about 2 weeks after we had started this diet that we saw him begin to return to us with his eye contact, and responding to his name. This was eye opening to me. Ok, maybe, just maybe we can do things to help Theo to progress.
That was over 2 years ago. Now I am in a Functional Medicine Coaching Certification that is accredited through The Institute of Functional Medicine. This is a year long course, and it studies everything in the Functional Medicine Matrix. This could include, Mind + Body Medicine, Positive Psychology, Nutrition (Like Mood and Food), Macro and Micro Nutrients (proteins, fats, carbohydrates) + (minerals, vitamins, phytonutrients), meditation, and so much more. I love this course. It is everything that I need personally. Like my soul has been craving this content for years. It is also super helpful for Theo.
We have been learning and implementing a lot about Gut Health. You see, 60-70% of our immune system is housed within our gut. Our gut mainly being made up of our large and small intestines. However, you have other parts of your gut like your pancreas that produces insulin, your liver and your kidneys that process food and detoxify your body. The health of your gut greatly impacts your overall health. Dr. Andrew Wakefield was one of the first doctors to come up with the term “Gut-Brain Connection”. This has been proven for us as a family.
You have probably read about Theo’s Fecal Microbiota Transplant. If not, check it out here: https://pure-living-family.myshopify.com/blogs/news/a-total-gut-reset. We have already seen incredible results. We did this procedure 3 weeks ago. and Theo is eating better, listening to directions and commands way better, and his overall mood has been happy. Theo has been on antibiotics off and on for the last year, because he was also diagnosed with PANDAS (Pediatric Autoimmune NeuroPsychiatric Disorder Associated with Streptococcus Infections). Basically his body is bombarded with a strep infection throughout. In the past, you would be able to see his little body cringe from pain when he would have a flare up. Thankfully over the last 3 weeks, we have not seen any flare ups. Please bless that still remains the case.
This brings us to today and this blog post. I know without a doubt that I was spiritually guided to the FMCA (Functional Medicine Coaching Academy). I will be posting once a week about the things that I am learning in my course, and my personal experiences in implementing the different food plans and learnings.
I am also about done with my 200 Hr Yoga Certification through https://settled.life/. Maria Johnson has a rich history and experience to draw from as a yoga instructor. I have thoroughly enjoyed learning not just the yoga asanas (poses), but the history and theology behind yoga practice. Yoga is so much more than becoming more flexible. Yoga is therapeutic and meditative for me. With so much chaos and demands placed on you as a parent to a kid with special needs, you need a balancing practice to take care of yourself. Can you remain calm, when storms are happening all around you? I am getting better at this; however, I still have a lot of practice to do. Perfection might be impossible to achieve, but I can progress on the perfection scale.
I am creating this company and this blog to share our learnings with our people. We have seen how powerful parents can be when they share their experiences together. We as a community can lift each other up, inspire each other as we do everything under the sun to help our kids to reach their highest potential. Just remember, we can’t challenge our kids everyday if we are not willing to challenge ourselves. This is a community to challenge and better ourselves, so we can be our best for the beautiful souls that we have been blessed with.
We have been fortunate as a family to connect with a lot of special needs families from across the globe. We have had many conversations with mom’s and dad’s of kids with different autism diagnoses, and of other ailments or diagnoses, like PANDA’S or PANS.
We have learned so much from so many people. I used to really admire athletes because of their physical abilities. I have been a soccer fanatic since I could walk and talk. I had posters on my wall of Dennis Bergkamp, Ronaldo Phenomenon, and many more. Now I look up to parents of kids with special needs so much more. The way that your mind and heart is tested every single day is exhausting and daunting. Yet these parents just keep waking up and showing up the best that they can for their kids.
Also, when we come together as a community, our collective suggestions and experiences are so extremely powerful. That is why we wanted to create a community of likeminded parents who are in the fight for their kids. The parents that research every spare minute they have to find something, anything that will help support and uplift their kid to reach the next highest level. I consider you my family.
Family doesn’t always have to be blood relatives. Sometimes family is a community of people that understand each other’s experience. Sometimes you can choose the family that is there for you to support you and uplift you. We seek to be this community.
My personal experience has taught me that we need connection in our lives to be thriving. True connection. Not the superficial, shallow surface level connection. I am talking about the deep rooted, I know your struggle, and you understand me connection.
We hope to someday run retreats for parents with kids with special needs. A time where you can escape and connect with other parents, adults. Where we can share our experiences, but more importantly, where we can laugh and find retreat from our everyday challenges that we face to provide the best for our kids.
We hope to uplift and be uplifted.
I saw this wood art piece at one of my favorite stores. I have tried to make it my guide and theme of my life over the last year.
There has been a common theme in all of the books and all of the podcasts that I have consumed over the last couple of years. The differentiator between successful people and others is that they are a different breed. They do things in their own style and their own fashion.
A visionary is someone that can see through all of the fog and haze. Someone who can have a sole focus on the vision that was given to them to carve something out of the earth. A dreamer is someone who just dreams something up and never follows through.
Now the first step into becoming a visionary is learning how to lean into the vision. The visionary has to be so courageous to overcome all criticism’s, critiques, and judgement. People will tell you that your style and that your thoughts aren’t correct, and that you need to do it in another way because they heard that it has to look differently than what you are doing.
Here is what you do. Here is what I am doing. Find people that you respect what they are doing and find out how they did it. Don’t listen to the posers, who pretend to know the answers. In order to carve something out of the earth, you have to have some balls and some initiative.
For too long of my life, I have been deterred by criticism. I have stopped doing what I really want to do, for fear of rejection from someone that I love. The true test of love is know that they still love you, even when they don’t agree with you. Find those people and hang out really tight to them.
I know this for sure for myself. I am a visionary. I am called to do a work of healing. Healing of myself and anyone that I can influence through my own experience. There are voices that I need to amplify, and there are voices that I need to mute. There will be people in my life who will claim to know and try to persuade me in a direction, that I don’t need to listen to, and that is ok.
Here are people that I am excited to hear from in the coming weeks. Darien Olien and Rich Roll. These guys are changing the world and I want in on their wave of change.
We are currently in Mexico for Theo’s Fecal Microbiota Transplant. We need to catch our medical taxi back to San Diego and then catch our flight home later today. I thought while I have some down time and can’t sleep, I’ll put some notes and thoughts together for people wanting to know more about the experience.
We did the FMT with Dr. Jason Klop. I will be posting a video interview we did with him today to summarize the procedure and what it’s benefits and risks are known to entail.
I just want to start out by saying that we are so very grateful for all the people that helped get us here. We ran a fundraiser with the help of our good friends Garret and Arial Jonnson. We would not have been able to make it this year without them and the 300+ people that donated to pay for the procedure. We want to thank everyone immensely. Theo is loved so deeply and greatly and we can feel that energy coming from all different directions.
Now I am sure that you are all dying to know how it has all gone. So let me break it down for you. We arrived in Rosarito, Mexico on Monday night. We arrived via a medical taxi that picked us up at our hotel on Coronado island in San Diego. Driving across the border was quick and simple and it took about 45 minutes to drive from San Diego to Rosarito.
Tuesday afternoon we had a consultation with Dr. Klop and Dr. Santiago. We mainly covered the medical history of Theo and both us parents. We also had an opportunity to ask any questions.
Wednesday and Thursday night we had our main “loading doses”. Basically they had an enema full of feces from a healthy donor. Picture a squeezable tincture bottle that was inserted into Theo’s rectum and squeezed into his colon. We did it around 8:15 pm each night. The idea is to get the enema administered and then get him to sleep. The goal is to keep the feces in him for 4-5 hours. This will allow enough time for bacteria to travel up into the digestive tract of the small and large intestine to repopulate the gut with good bacteria. Theo and the kids just poop it out, like a normal bowel movement later on.
Now keep in mind that prior to coming to Mexico we were on a 14 day cleanse protocol. Theo was on vancomycin and other antibiotics to clear out his digestive tract. That way it would leave a clean slate for the new good beneficial bacteria to graft to the walls of the digestive tract.
Now going home we have a continuation of the treatment for the next 16 weeks. We will be giving Theo a small oral dose daily to help bolster and strengthen the new bacteria that we have introduced into his body.
We will try to keep you posted as the weeks progress. The results from parents have been very mixed. One mother told us today that the biggest benefit she saw from FMT was being able to get a jacket on her kid. While other parents have told us that their kids started talking and their vocabulary blew up just weeks after the procedure. We don’t know what to expect, but we are hopeful that this will help Theo greatly.
So far we haven’t seen any changes or benefits for Theo. But let’s give it a couple days or at least a week before we start really evaluating.
I have read and heard recently that 70% of our immune system is located in our gut. The gut being the digestive tract between the large and small intestine. I thought I would include an excerpt from a book I finished today that talks about FMT. Notice the synchronicity.
Dr. Judy Mikovits says the following in her book Plague of Corruption:
“In 1998, Andrew Wakefield and twelve colleagues published a case series report in The Lancet describing mild to moderate inflammation of the large intestine, as well as swelling of the lymph glands in the intestinal lining of the small intestine in twelve children with autism spectrum disorder. Nine of the parents noted the appearance of BOTH the gastrointestinal problems and autistic behaviors in conjunction with a measles-mumps-rubella (MMR) shot. This is the first known scientific description of what later would be called the “gut-brain” connection in autism. Whatever you may think of Andrew Wakefield, it is one of the most important contributions in autism research.
From my background in HIV-AIDS research, it made perfect sense. Retroviruses love to hang out in the digestive tract. A great deal of the immune system is found in the digestive tract. So, if you’re are retrovirus and you want to disable the immune system, the gut is where you want to go. Not hard to make the connection, right? That’s not rocket science. It’s just common sense.
If these retroviruses are affecting the immune system of the gut (and by extension the brain), you’d also expect to find abnormal bacterial populations as well. This has become a fascinating area of scientific research, and these bacterial populations in the digestive systems have become popularly known as the “microbiome.”
Probably one of the best thinkers in this area today is Dr. James Adams of Arizona State University. He’d been intrigued by reports that when children with autism and gut problems were treated with an antibiotic, vancomycin, both their autism and gut problems improved, sometimes dramatically. However, when treatment was discontinued, the children relapsed. Adams theorized that the children had an abnormal microbiome, and these bacterial populations were not creating the chemicals necessary for the proper functioning of the body and mind. It might make sense to treat first with vancomycin, then provide material from a person with a healthy microbiome. This material would come from the purified human feces. Feces are about 50 percent bacteria. A 2019 article from Smithsonian highlighted this area of research, as well as the work of Dr. Adams. “
I have lately really been thinking a lot about well-being and happiness. Everyone in the world wants to be happy. I want to be happy. However, I have learned that happiness is fleeting. As one of my new best friends says “Moments of Bliss are Not Free.” Moments of happiness come and go. They don’t last long. I have learned that happiness is an actual chemical reaction that happens within our minds and within our bodies that releases hormones and chemicals. Oxytocin is considered the human relationship hormone. The love hormone. Your brain will also release dopamine, which is the happy hormone. These hormones can organically be created from the things we experience.
However, moments and experiences pass, and we are then faced with the mundane world that we live in.
I love this quote below:
“Anyone who imagines that bliss is normal is going to waste a lot of time running around shouting that he has been robbed. The fact is that most putts don’t drop, most beef is tough, most children grow up to be just like people, most successful marriages require a high degree of mutual toleration, and most jobs are more often dull than otherwise. Life is just like an old time rail journey … delays, sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders, and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas and thrilling bursts of speed. The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride.” ― Jenkin Lloyd Jones
In my Functional Medicine Coaching Course I have recently read about the Well-Being Theory. It is outlined as follows:
Well Being Theory includes
Positive Emotion (of which happiness and life satisfaction are all aspects.)
Our lives have to be well rounded in all of these areas to be considered to be flourishing. I think this is going to be my new measurement for my life’s success. Because I can’t be happy everyday. There will be days that I am exhausted and frustrated and maybe even agitated. But am I thriving? Am I trying to generate positive emotions for myself and for the others around me? Am I engaged in my work and the things that I am involved in? Do I have good sound relationships? Do I have a sense of meaning and purpose in my life? and finally, Am I working to achieve something significant and important?
This is what I know for sure this week. My family and I are extremely blessed. We are working to help each other and the people within our circle of influence. Our collective family, people who support us from around the world have really come together to help us. That is flourishing.
We leave this Saturday to go and get the Fecal Microbiota Transplant for Theo next week. We had 300+ people donate to Theo’s cause and procedure. Theo is so loved by so many people.
Here is a video interview of Dr. David Perlmutter explaining Gut Health and why the FMT procedure can be so beneficial:
If you want to learn more about our experience with this procedure you can follow myself and my wife on Instagram. My Instagram handle is @ShawnBlymiller and my wife’s is @angelablymiller.
Here is a video that we put together for our fundraiser for Theo. We met our goal so don’t feel like you need to donate.
I am in a Functional Medicine Coaching Certification course right now. We are learning all about the toxins that we take into our body through the air we breathe, the food we eat, and the environments that we expose ourselves into. Toxins like mercury, lead, aluminum, etc.
In order for our bodies to operate optimally, we have to be able to optimize our detoxification. Today I want to talk about detoxing our lives of negative thoughts.
Thoughts are powerful. I have posted blogs before linking Dr. Joe Dispenza’s podcasts. He teaches that what we focus on expands. When we focus on thoughts, we give them life, breathe and energy.
Throughout the last few months I have really tried to be aware and conscious of the thoughts that run across my mind. Sometimes thoughts are random. Sometimes thoughts are introduced by our environment. Thoughts can be spawned from the conversations that you have, the media that we consume, or your minds natural conditioned mode of operation based on past experiences.
I believe that each of us needs to be able to evaluate ourselves and suspend judgement as we evaluate our thoughts and thought processes. We can’t fix something, until we realize that a problem is present. We won’t know a problem is present until we take the time to really dissect and evaluate how our mind works and operates.
Eddie Capparucci does an amazing job explaining how our thoughts can lead us to act out with addictions. Many times we are trying to escape thoughts or pain, so we seek pornography or sex. The sexual feelings override the pain and even mundane feelings of boredom. Sex and Pornography are such a rush of emotions. It is the most powerful emotions a male can feel.
Does that mean that we need to replace sex and pornography with other adrenaline generating activities? For example, adventurous and dangerous activities? Or does it just have to be something that we are excited and passionate about?
Comparison is death to progression. But sharing of stories helps us connect with people that help us find our way.
We all have trauma. We all have hooks of personal history and injury stuck inside of us. My trauma is not greater or smaller than anyone else’s. It just is.
Deep connection happens when we are completely vulnerable and open with the things that we are struggling with. Right now in my life, I still work hard to overcome my default setting of sex and porn addiction. I have used sexual feelings as an escape. These sexual feelings could be generated through fantasy and imagination. I have learned that I sought these escapes when I don’t want to feel. The feelings could vary from insecurity, fear, discouragement, rejection, etc.
Now as I give myself space to feel my feelings, regardless of what they are, they pass. They are like a wave, or sometimes waves crashing down again and again. Some feelings are so intense that the waves keep coming. Sometimes I feel like I might drown from being pounded by the waves. Just as I come up for air, the next wave hits me and pushes me back down. Once I figure out how to be comfortable in the uncomfortable, in this analogy, it would be me learning how to breathe under water. I can calm my nerves. Sitting in our emotions and honoring them could be one of the hardest things that I have ever experiences. This feels like I am drowning.
Do we allow our lives to be ruled by fear based thoughts, or do we let our lives be driven by the faith and hope that we have for our lives.
My son Theo turns 5 today. Every year I write my kids a letter for their birthday. Here is my letter I wrote to Theo:
My Theo Boy
The world we live in is in conflict with itself. We have already been on a crazy journey together and you are only 5 years old. You have taught me more about God, The Universe, The Purpose of Life, than I could have ever imagined in the last 5 years. Here is what I know for sure. I love you. I love you exactly how you are. But that doesn’t mean that I won’t stop fighting to help you progress to your highest potential. You see, even me, in my wise ol’ age of 36, still have so much more to learn. You showed me that. You showed me that I can wake up every day and strive to be even better than I was the day before. I can gain more knowledge. I can be kinder. I can seek to understand other people’s perspectives more. My mind wouldn’t have understood that as well as I do now without you. I can’t challenge you to reach your highest potential, if I am not willing to work just as hard on myself. I love you Theo George Blymiller. Happy Birthday my little man.
Theo was diagnosed with Autism at 3 years old. We have tried to find ways to help him develop and progress ever since. Our family has received a lot of criticism from adults with Autism. They claim that we are using “ableism” in a negative context. They claim that Theo doesn’t need to be fixed. He is perfect the way he is. I wanted to speak to that specifically.
You see the greatest expression of Love that I have ever received in my life is the love I have received from my wife. Even when I betrayed her and hurt her in the worst way possible, she still saw me for the man that I could be.
Nobody knows if Theo will ever talk, or if he will be able to be independent and go to the bathroom, or if he will be in diapers forever. Nobody knows if he will be able to play sports, or make friends, or go on dates, or fall in love.
All I know is that I will fight like hell to offer him every opportunity to find the best options for him. All I know is that I envision Theo speaking in front of a large group one day and that is the vision that is guiding me today.
It has been a minute since I let my inner voice speak. You have to create moments and space for spiritual communication. It can’t come through with all the noise and digital distractions. God speaks to us. God speaks to you. Will you listen and will you heed the guidance that he sends you from podcasts, or inspiring stories that find you? Synchronicities are the Universe’s wavelength and vibration. Listen to what the universe is trying to tell you.
This last week has been very emotional for me. A friend asked if he could help put together a fundraiser for Theo and our family. Theo has been diagnosed with Autism and Panda’s. Panda’s stands for Pediatric Autoimmune NeuroPsychiatric Disorder Associated with Streptococcal Infection. Theo was diagnosed with Autism 2 years ago and we have tried a myriad of therapies, protocols, supplements and medications to help him develop.
About a year ago we were on vacation in Seattle with family and Theo had acquired an Obsessive Compulsive habit of pressing on bottles. This is a sign of Pandas because it is an Obsessive input modality. Pandas is an obscure and unknown disorder. However it is growing. Today 1 in 200 kids will be diagnosed with Pandas, according to the PANDAS Network, a nonprofit organization. My wife Angela has created an amazing network on Instagram with parents of kids with special needs or disabilities. It was through this network that Angela was able to hear about this disorder. As soon as we got home, we had Theo’s doctor run a blood test for Strep. The doctor came back and said that it was the highest that he has ever seen. So many things began to make sense to us. Theo would have days where he would be inconsolable. He would throw tantrums that would be uncontrollable and we couldn’t find anything to make him happy. Other days he would be super happy and loving.
This diagnosis made sense, because his body was irregular in mood and personality. We had to do something, so we started Theo on an antibiotic knowing that it would help his little body to fight off this infection. Also knowing that the antibiotic could be damaging long term if we left him on it for too long. You see, antibiotics kill all gut bacteria. Unfortunately this is bad because we all need good beneficial gut flora or gut bacteria to fight off illness and disease. You can learn more about that from this podcast:
You might also read Dr. PerlMutter’s book “Brain Maker”.
The antibiotics have really helped Theo. He has been able to fight off the strep for longer periods of time and he has seen some amazing strides. Sunday night he ate a turkey sandwich for the first time. He has learned new signs in sign language like swing, jump, etc.
Well after I read Dr. PerlMutter’s book “Brain Maker” I knew that I needed to do more. Dr. PerlMutter talks a lot about Fecal Microbiota Transplant (FMT) in his book. This procedure introduces good gut flora/bacteria into your body. We knew that we wanted to do this procedure but we were planning on doing it in 2021, because it is expensive and it requires travel to Mexico. I have already used a lot of my PTO for the year. We made a video to really detail that story here.
So now back to the fundraiser. Our friend Garrett Jonnson- https://www.linkedin.com/in/garrett-jonsson-2911a5106/ , Offered to run a Triathlon in Theo’s honor. We would ask for donations for every mile that Garrett would run through in a full swim, bike, run triathlon, totaling 140 miles. We thought that we would raise a couple of thousand dollars to help pay for this procedure. We raised $12,000 in 3 days, and people are still donating. The triathlon is Saturday June 20, 2020 at Sugar House Park in downtown Salt Lake City. We ask everyone to wear green on Saturday and use hashtag #triforTheo to spread awareness for Pandas.
We have felt guilty for asking for money, especially with Black Lives Matter going on right now. However, we thought that we would allow our friend to show this amazing kindness and open ourselves up. We are so grateful for the network of people that have reached out to our family. Theo has so many fans. Angela has been told by so many families that their kids were able to get the treatment that they needed because of the content that she shares on her Instagram.
We will be getting the FMT treatment July 13-17 in Mexico and we will keep you updated on how it goes. We are diving into this Gut Health= Brain Health world. We hope to keep you informed of how things go. Right now we are trying to get Theo’s gut to the best place that it possibly could be. I give him micro veggie powder in water every morning, and I have been giving him Bone Broth at night.
Gut health has also been tied to depression and anxiety. So our family is trying to live to a strict diet. We are trying to eat less sugar and processed foods and eat more organic, whole foods. I will keep you informed here.
This week has been marked with another murder. Where another Black man was killed by a white police officer. There have been protests and riots in most major cities across the country, even in major cities across the globe. I am a white man trying to make sense of what I should do and say about it all.
Krishnamurti’s quote keeps popping into my head:
“There can be no transformation in the world, unless there is transformation from within. It is our responsibility to bring about a radical transformation within ourselves.”
I don’t claim to be an expert on social justice and social equality. I have a Bachelor’s Degree in Mass Communications from the University of Utah. I live in one of the least diverse states in my nation. However, I do know that if you have a visceral emotional reaction to my Instagram post that read:
“If you aren’t asking yourself how you are racist or prejudice, so you can do less of it, you might be part of the problem.”
Then I know that you are in denial. The first step to change is recognizing the need to change. If we deny the facts by arguing that they are false claims or inaccurate, or we ignore and dismiss them because the truth of the story is too ugly to look at. We are only allowing the illness to continue within us.
My belief is that racist people, don’t believe that they are racist. They believe that they are justified and that other people are less than.
I refused to see my own illness of being a sex addict for a lot of my life. It wasn’t until I saw the pain long enough and hard enough that I had caused myself and other people, before I realized that I needed to change.
Purging our souls of illness and disease takes true introspection. It is really difficult to change. We won’t change until we allow ourselves the ability to really see ourselves and our actions for what they really are. Did I treat this individual the way I did, because of racially motivated narratives or story lines? Did I not do something for this black or brown man, that I would have done for a white man or woman?
I know friends and family members that don’t believe that they are racist, but they are. They display it in the comments they make, and the characterizations that they place on others of color. My prayer is that they will start to see their illness sooner rather than later. I feel so deeply for #GeorgeFloyd and his family. May we all do some more introspection evaluation.
“Imperfect people win. Successful people are not perfect. Your mess doesn’t disqualify you from making your dreams come true.”
I am late to posting my blog today. I took my family to Lake Powell over Memorial Day weekend and I had a lot going on yesterday. I wasn’t sure what I was going to write about until I listened to this podcast on my lunch run. I have had this voice in my head for a lot of my life. It says things like: “Who do you think you are to think, or even imagine that you could accomplish this or that.”
You see I am a dreamer, I imagine these ideal worlds and I try to shoot for the stars to achieve those ambitions. However, I allow myself to be beat down. I have allowed external voices to stifle me, and bridle my ambitions.
I have this addiction for recognition and love and affection. So when my dreams don’t match up with what people think of me, I desist. I give up on the dream to please other people. I try to fit into the box of what I think other people want out of me. I seek acceptance.
Since starting my recovery from porn and sex addiction 4 years ago, I have had to let go of that part of myself, a little bit more each day.
I still have the hooks in me latched deep into my psyche, where I still seek recognition and approval. However, the more vulnerable I am, the more the hooks release and let go of my insides.
You know that voice that says that you have done too much bad to qualify for good?
It’s a lie!
You know that voice that says that you don’t deserve to be happy or successful because you have too much of a mess going on inside of you emotionally, spiritually, and psychologically?
That’s not your voice. That is not you. You can dispel that thought. Rid yourself of it. Scourge it from your being.
Right now I am working on a lot of side projects while still holding down a full time job. It is challenging. I will be posting some of these side businesses that I am trying to operate. But for me, they are not businesses, they are providing for people that are in need and that are hurting.
Only 12% of the U.S. population is bio-medically healthy according to Dr. Mark Hyman. Meaning people’s bodies are taking the brunt of the pain and impact that we are feeling emotionally and psychologically. Our world pressures us to have more and do more, and look perfect on social media. When none of us are perfect.
I believe some of the most creative people in the world, are the bravest. They trust their own intuition and their own insight more than they trust outside influences. Sometimes these outside influences, are loved ones. They could be family members. That has always been my achilles heal. When someone I love criticizes an idea or an ambition I have. It feels like rejection. It feels like if I don’t change my dream and ambition, that they won’t love me anymore.
That is the biggest thing that I am trying to work on right now. I am going to trust my own intuition. I am going to trust my own dreams and ambitions and not allow other people’s opinions to sway me.
In a recent podcast that I posted with Brené Brown and Alicia Keys, Brené talked about how Alicia Keys protected her music and her art like a Bear would protect their cub. God speaks to us through our creativity. Nobody else can decipher that and translate that for us. Our message from the Universe and God has to come directly from the source. God is in this podcast with Ed Mylett and Nikki Glaser. Listen to it. Watch it. It is worth your time!